This thought has been on my mind a lot here lately. We sing an awesome song in the choir called, "I Am". The lyrics are so powerful! Singing of the many things God is....what a blessing! The verses describe Him: "I am the Lord, the Almighty God, the One for whom nothing is too hard. I am the Shepherd, the Door, the Good news to the bound and the poor. I am the Righteous One, the Lamb, the Ram in the bush for Abraham, the Ultimate Sacrifice for sin, your Redeemer, the Beginning and the End. I am Jehovah, your King, Messiah, David's Offspring, your High Priest, the Christ, the Resurrection, and the Life. I am the Bread, the Wine, your Future..so leave your past behind! I am the One in the midst of two or three, I am your Tabernacle, your Jubilee! I am HOPE, PEACE, JOY, REST, your COMFORT, RELIEF, your STRENGTH, FAITH, LOVE, POWER, and FREEDOM". Just paraphrasing this song makes me want to jump for joy!!
In my Bible study reading last night, the scripture reading was in Exodus chapter 3. Where God speaks to Moses from the burning bush. God tells Moses to bring forth His people out of Egypt. Moses asks God, "When I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, The God of your fathers hath sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is his name? what shall I say unto them?" Oh my goodness....hold on to your seats!!! God answers Moses in verse 14, " And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you." Oh my! He is the I AM for anything you are going through....He is always present, and that is why His name is always in the present tense!!
When I was sick in my sins, the I AM was there waiting for me to ask to be pulled from the mire! When I was lost and going to Hell, the I AM laid down His life so that I could have eternal life!
When I was looking for something to fill the void in my heart, I AM came knocking and filled that hole! When I was at a crossroads, the I AM showed me the path to take. When I was at my wits end, the I AM consoled me and took me in! When I was at the graveside of my loved ones, the I AM wrapped His arms around me and comforted me! When I was searching for answers, the I AM told me, "I AM the way, the truth and the life!" When I was told there was no cure, the I AM said I AM the great Physician! When I was battling the enemy, the I AM told me to stand still and He fought my battle! When I was in the war, the I AM was my shield! When I was hungry, the I AM was my manna! When I was tossed to and fro, the I AM stepped out and said 'Peace Be Still' to my storm! When I was athirst, the I AM was my Fountain of Living Water! When I was in darkness, the I AM was the Light! When I was beaten down, the I AM was my Good Samaritan that bound up my wounds. When I was unlovable, the I AM loved me!
Praise the Lord!! He is always there! Things come and go, but the I AM never changes! I will never be what I was, since I met the I AM......do you know Him?
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
What Now?
Things change, we all know that. It is totally in the norm for you to bury your parents, I get that, too. However, it is a little different in my case. While most people have their parents there to help them as they grow up and marry. Their parents are active in helping raise the grandchildren. Then, as you are about to settle into retirement yourself, and the kids are grown and usually out of the house, then you fall into the role of caregiver for your aging parents. This is the basic 'usual' life cycle.
My case is different. You see, I should have never been born, at least according to our medical world. But God had a different plan. My mother always wanted two children, a boy and a girl. She was 19 and giving birth, back in the 40's, at home with assistance of a midwife. She had her baby boy. But, she ended up with an infection that left her unable to have anymore children. As the years rolled by, she and my dad raised my brother to become a fine young man. As the usual life cycle goes, he married, and began a family of his own. As the 60's were just about to wind down, and a new decade about to begin.....my parents were told that they were going to have another baby! Wait a minute!! They have a beautiful grandson.....WHAT??? That's right, almost 26 years after the birth of their son, they welcomed a baby girl into the world.......little ole me.
They basically raised 2 families. They had a family dynamic of 3, my parents and brother; then they had another family dynamic of 3, my parents and me. We have often told our story, as it is unique to hear, but it was our normal. Here I am being raised by parents who were in their mid 40's. I remember being young, and you know how it is, everyone over 25 is old, right??.....I often wondered if I would be grown before my parents would die.
Well, I did grow up, being raised by 2 awesome, God fearing parents. Both of my parents saw me graduate high school, graduate college, marry, and even have both of my precious baby girls. My father's health began to fail first. Mother did most of his care giving, but I helped. When he was 75 yrs old, he passed away. My youngest daughter was only 2. Mom did well for many years. She is the strongest, yet most gentle lady I have ever known. But, there came a point to where I was becoming more and more her caregiver.
I had 2 young children, in which I was very active in their lives. I had my husband and a full time job, and my household to run. At a time when my friend's had their parents there to help them, I was already having to be a caregiver to my mom as well. It's not easy. It is physically, emotionally, and spiritually draining. If you are at that point in your life, then you will understand what I mean. I look back now and know that God was carrying me through those times, there were definitely only one set of footprints in the sand of my life at that moment...and those footprints were not mine!
Now I find myself at the age my parents were when they found out they were having a baby girl....and I don't have my parents here with me anymore. It is a very strange feeling not having both parents alive. I feel orphaned, to try to put a descriptive word to it. Until you are in that position, you can't put wrap your mind around it. Most people are in their 60's or even 70's when they no longer have either parent alive. Even though I always knew I would not have them as long as most do......it still leaves a hole. I miss them so much. Everyone would, and does....I'm no different. It is a vacancy that you cannot fill. I remember my mother, on her death bed, at the age of 89, almost 90......and she still missed her mom, and wished she had her with her. And, no, before you ask, she was not demented, she was fully aware. She just missed her mom. I miss my mom and dad. I miss the knowing feeling that someone here in this old wicked world had my back, no matter what, unconditionally loved me, no matter what. I miss the feeling of knowing my mom and dad were praying a hedge of protection around me daily. I miss that the most. When I am praying for my daughters, son in loves, and granddaughter.......I miss my mama's prayers over me. I can tell a difference, too. I thank God for my Godly heritage that they are resting from all their labor in Heaven. Hallelujah for that great homecoming day when we will be together for all eternity!!
For now, however, I am left here, with no parents, I am here to carry on.....without them. It gets lonely at times. At low moments, I wonder why I couldn't have been born a couple years after my brother like most families and had my parents well into my 60's. But, that was God's will, and I praise Him for everything. I am just trying to convey to you that it is hard. It is hard to say good bye to your parents, even though we grow up knowing that this is life's cycle.
Comfort yourself in the Lord. He is always there. Through all of life's cycles, even when life throws you a curve ball, when things happen that are not part of a 'normal' life cycle.....He. Is. There. "He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces..." Isaiah 25:8. Jesus says in John 5:24, "Verily, Verily I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life." There is hope beyond this life! Press on!!
Don't lose heart. Keep the faith. God is there with you, every step of the way! Ephesians 6 tells us to 'obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right'. Now that we are grown, He commands us to, 'honor thy father and mother'. This commandment comes with promise that it will be well with you and your days will be longer on earth. Jesus takes caring for your parents very seriously! My advise is, do what you can,to the best of your ability. But realize that you are human, not a super hero! You have to have help, and accept that help! You are no good to anyone if you deplete yourself of everything! Live life without any regrets. There is a peace in knowing that you did all you could for your parents. You are human, you can only do so much, you MUST take care of yourself....don't let the enemy beat you up! You have to rest when you can, and keep your strength. One day, when they are gone, and you are standing where I am now, you will be thankful for all the memories, and thankful that God gave you strength and grace to care for your aging parents, as they cared for you. Remember Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord THY God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee."
My case is different. You see, I should have never been born, at least according to our medical world. But God had a different plan. My mother always wanted two children, a boy and a girl. She was 19 and giving birth, back in the 40's, at home with assistance of a midwife. She had her baby boy. But, she ended up with an infection that left her unable to have anymore children. As the years rolled by, she and my dad raised my brother to become a fine young man. As the usual life cycle goes, he married, and began a family of his own. As the 60's were just about to wind down, and a new decade about to begin.....my parents were told that they were going to have another baby! Wait a minute!! They have a beautiful grandson.....WHAT??? That's right, almost 26 years after the birth of their son, they welcomed a baby girl into the world.......little ole me.
They basically raised 2 families. They had a family dynamic of 3, my parents and brother; then they had another family dynamic of 3, my parents and me. We have often told our story, as it is unique to hear, but it was our normal. Here I am being raised by parents who were in their mid 40's. I remember being young, and you know how it is, everyone over 25 is old, right??.....I often wondered if I would be grown before my parents would die.
Well, I did grow up, being raised by 2 awesome, God fearing parents. Both of my parents saw me graduate high school, graduate college, marry, and even have both of my precious baby girls. My father's health began to fail first. Mother did most of his care giving, but I helped. When he was 75 yrs old, he passed away. My youngest daughter was only 2. Mom did well for many years. She is the strongest, yet most gentle lady I have ever known. But, there came a point to where I was becoming more and more her caregiver.
I had 2 young children, in which I was very active in their lives. I had my husband and a full time job, and my household to run. At a time when my friend's had their parents there to help them, I was already having to be a caregiver to my mom as well. It's not easy. It is physically, emotionally, and spiritually draining. If you are at that point in your life, then you will understand what I mean. I look back now and know that God was carrying me through those times, there were definitely only one set of footprints in the sand of my life at that moment...and those footprints were not mine!
Now I find myself at the age my parents were when they found out they were having a baby girl....and I don't have my parents here with me anymore. It is a very strange feeling not having both parents alive. I feel orphaned, to try to put a descriptive word to it. Until you are in that position, you can't put wrap your mind around it. Most people are in their 60's or even 70's when they no longer have either parent alive. Even though I always knew I would not have them as long as most do......it still leaves a hole. I miss them so much. Everyone would, and does....I'm no different. It is a vacancy that you cannot fill. I remember my mother, on her death bed, at the age of 89, almost 90......and she still missed her mom, and wished she had her with her. And, no, before you ask, she was not demented, she was fully aware. She just missed her mom. I miss my mom and dad. I miss the knowing feeling that someone here in this old wicked world had my back, no matter what, unconditionally loved me, no matter what. I miss the feeling of knowing my mom and dad were praying a hedge of protection around me daily. I miss that the most. When I am praying for my daughters, son in loves, and granddaughter.......I miss my mama's prayers over me. I can tell a difference, too. I thank God for my Godly heritage that they are resting from all their labor in Heaven. Hallelujah for that great homecoming day when we will be together for all eternity!!
For now, however, I am left here, with no parents, I am here to carry on.....without them. It gets lonely at times. At low moments, I wonder why I couldn't have been born a couple years after my brother like most families and had my parents well into my 60's. But, that was God's will, and I praise Him for everything. I am just trying to convey to you that it is hard. It is hard to say good bye to your parents, even though we grow up knowing that this is life's cycle.
Comfort yourself in the Lord. He is always there. Through all of life's cycles, even when life throws you a curve ball, when things happen that are not part of a 'normal' life cycle.....He. Is. There. "He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces..." Isaiah 25:8. Jesus says in John 5:24, "Verily, Verily I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life." There is hope beyond this life! Press on!!
Don't lose heart. Keep the faith. God is there with you, every step of the way! Ephesians 6 tells us to 'obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right'. Now that we are grown, He commands us to, 'honor thy father and mother'. This commandment comes with promise that it will be well with you and your days will be longer on earth. Jesus takes caring for your parents very seriously! My advise is, do what you can,to the best of your ability. But realize that you are human, not a super hero! You have to have help, and accept that help! You are no good to anyone if you deplete yourself of everything! Live life without any regrets. There is a peace in knowing that you did all you could for your parents. You are human, you can only do so much, you MUST take care of yourself....don't let the enemy beat you up! You have to rest when you can, and keep your strength. One day, when they are gone, and you are standing where I am now, you will be thankful for all the memories, and thankful that God gave you strength and grace to care for your aging parents, as they cared for you. Remember Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord THY God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)