The Eye of the Storm

We almost always write about a storm, once it has passed over. We tell of God's faithfulness and wonderful power. In hindsight, we tell of the darkness of that storm, but mainly focus on the glorious outcome. And indeed, we should. But as I sit here this morning, I am smack in the middle of a very dark storm in my life. I feel the need to write about it now.

The specifics of storms won't matter to the reader. We all have storms specific to our lives, and all of our lives are different. But whatever the storm, the effects of it, we share, it may be to different degrees, it depends of the severity of the storm. Nevertheless, a storm is a very difficult and hard thing to bear. Physically it is tiring. My body hurts all over. My muscles seem to stay tense. My throat is constantly dry, and I feel as though I have swallowed a grapefruit whole, and it is forever lodged in my throat. My stomach constantly churns. Food is not a welcome sight to me at this point. It is a chore, but I know I must keep my strength up, so I try to eat. As a result, I have lost some weight.

Emotionally, I am on a roller coaster. It's as though I am on a cliff, hanging by the tips of my fingers, and at any moment, I will fall. My body burns and feels anxious. Usually to the point that I must be moving or doing something at all times to calm that feeling down. There is not too much rest during a storm, I sleep due to exhaustion at the end of the day. My mind welcomes any diversion, no matter how great or small. I find myself taking deep breaths more often, as if someone is squeezing my midsection, and I cannot breathe. I cry at the drop of a hat. And the tears seem to find me at awkward times, and for no apparent reason. For instance, I was mowing yesterday, my mind and body were focused on mowing.... and out of nowhere, as I turned the mower around, I found my face suddenly contorted, and hot tears going down my cheeks. I find myself constantly telling myself to stay calm, to hold on, to only focus on life minute by minute.

Spiritually, I am numb. Heaven has seemingly turned to brass, no prayers seem to be escaping the ceiling of my prayer closet. I don't feel my Father's comforting arm, I don't feel the Holy Spirit that is dwelling inside of me. I force my eyes to read His Word, and I find a constant pleading, begging prayer escaping my lips, under my breath. I feel as alone, as if I were on an island by myself, with only oceans as my view.

I feel at any moment, I could implode on myself, and also, I feel that at any moment, I could explode any one. I constantly am keeping myself in check, so I won't say something I will regret to those I love. Questions of all shapes and sizes seem to fill my head. Scenerios of all kinds... some good, some bad... fill my head, things I should do, or could do, due to this storm. As a child, while playing hide and seek, I remember thinking that a closet would be a good place to hide. I remember the darkness, the stillness, not able to see anything, and feeling the tightness of the small room, and all the clothes pressing up against me. I feel that way now. It must be how food feels in a pressure cooker! The devil is reeking havoc in my mind, which is an enormous battlefield.

So, what keeps me hanging on? How am I still sane, instead of lying in a gutter, drunk or high, or in a psychiatric hospital, or worse, the funeral home due to suicide? Well, I'm standing on the Truth. I know that when I cannot stand, He holds me up. A wonderful friend of mine, describes it in a lovely way. She says that you must pour a foundation in the sunshine. What does that mean? Well, when the storm clouds are no where to be found, life is good, and the sun is shining bright, that's when you stay close to God. That is when you read and study the Bible, hide it's truths in your heart. Pray everyday, and seek God while He may be found. It's real easy not to do this....because we are human, and when things are going good, we tend to leave God behind. But, if I had left Him behind, then I would be standing in a miry mud puddle right now. Because I have stayed faithful to Christ, I am standing on concrete, even though all the world is pouring down on me.

When the anxiety rises, it seems that a peace comes in a pushes it back down. Isaiah 40:28-31, is a favorite of mine, and I keep holding on to it: "Hast thou not known?hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary: there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall.; But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." I read Psalm 71, and use it as my prayer. Even though I feel nothing.... I must continue to read my Bible and pray.........Christianity does not depend on my 'feelings'... it depends on the truth of His Word.

So, physically, I continue to eat, even though it is hard to swallow something around a grapefruit lodged in your throat, I go on a lot of walks, that helps physically and emotionally. I am relying on some wonderful friends right now, and I am holding on to His truths. He cannot lie, and no matter how I feel, how in the dark I am.. His Word is still the truth! I keep praying and talking to my Father, I don't feel as if He is a million miles around right now.....but, His Word says that he will never leave me nor forsake me.... so even though I cannot see, He is somewhere in the shadows. He says that He will never put more on us than we can bear. Even though the devil tells me that this is it......that is a lie, and he is the father of lies! I have to remain focused, and know that I cannot listen to all the tales spinning in my mind, because my mind is the devil's playground, and he is a liar!

Here I am, in the eye of the storm, I do not know how it will end. But I know it will end. The sun will come out in my life again, and when it does, I will see that Jesus was with me through it all. He doesn't just get us by.... He sees us through. I will lift up my hands, and I will praise Him in this storm! Do I feel like praising? Definitely not. But, He has done so much for me, He went all the way to the cross, and died alone, for me..... for ME! So, I will praise Him, and I will trust Him, for He lifts up my head.

June Bugs

As I sat in my swing on the back porch reading, the June bugs were buzzing around. As I continued to enjoy the summer morning, one June bug flew straight into the house and landed on his back on my deck. Well, you know my 'spiritual eye', I stopped reading and started watching this bug, waiting on my spiritual lesson.

The June bug was flat of his back, smack in the middle of a plank of wood on my deck. At first he didn't move, I guess he was kind of out of it. Then he began to work his legs and slowly move. I wondered how in the world is he going to get back on his feet. As I continued to watch, he slowly made it to the side of the plank....to the crack. As soon as he got to the crack, he was able to flip over, back on his feet. He walked around, in the middle of the plank again, and I thought, whew, the little fellow made it.

But, then here comes my daughter's pug, Bo. He came over and sniffed the poor bug, and slightly tapped it with his paw. The June bug, tried a quick escape, but soon found himself on his back once again, in the middle of the plank. He slowly began to work his legs once again. At first, he seemed to go straight to the crack again, but then he would turn, and go towards the other side. Seemed like a lot of extra work. All the while, Bo kept his eyes on him. Finally he got on the side of the plank, and quickly flipped back on his feet. This time he seemed to align his body directly in the crack of the boards. He stayed low, and slowly moved straight down the crack. Bo, was still there, ready to pounce. But just as Bo thought he had this little bug, the June bug kept creeping down the crack and then went flying off to freedom!!!

Okay, so this is what came to my mind: Matthew 7:13, 14 says, "Enter ye in at the strait gate; for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat; because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."

As I watched that June bug, I instantly saw myself, out in the world (that plank), completely on my back and helpless. The devil (Bo...sorry, Bo...just as an example) breathing down my neck, ready to pounce. And just like that bug, we may quickly come to Christ for help, but then again venture a walk on the wide open plank on our own. Quickly the devil knocks us right back on our backs again. But, once I started wiggling my legs again, and moving toward the crack, I found a refuge. Psalm 27:5, "For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion; in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock." Once I go to God, my refuge, my strongtower, He will protect me, and get me up on my feet again! The devil might be hanging around, but he cannot touch me! And as that June bug... if I follow the path down that crack, then one day I will fly away and be free!!!!!

What an awesome example of Christ's love that was shown to me through a little June bug! We are no match for this old world, the devil is a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour! So, stay off that wide open plank....... it gets you nothing but flat of your back anyway! Stay in the crack of the boards, you'll be on your feet, and your pathway will be straight! Thank you, Jesus, there is safety in You!

I know Him......but best of all....HE KNOWS ME!!!

I 'know' a lot of people. I know my family, I know my friends, coworkers, neighbors, and community. And to different degrees....they all know me. But, we can still fool them can't we??? We can hide things from them, and they wouldn't ever know it. Some can figure things out, depending on how close of a relationship you have with them.....but no one can see your heart!

I 'know' my local mayor, and elected officials, and news reporters on local TV. I even 'know' the president of the United States! I 'know' the actors who play roles on my favorite TV shows. I even 'know' the folks that are seen on reality TV shows.....you know, Jeff from 'Survivor', or how about Bob and Jillian, the trainers on the 'Biggest Loser'..............hey, I even know Jon and Kate!!!!

But, I could walk down the street and bump into any of them..........and they wouldn't say a word to me.............why.............didn't I just say that I 'know' them?????? Yes..........but the difference is.........they don't know me!!!!

But, there is One that I know................but best of all.........He knows me! How awesome is God! I've grown up in church all my life.....I've heard about Jesus, sang about Jesus, talked about Jesus my whole life........I KNOW Him! But better than all of that.................when I was a seven year old little girl.................He got to know me!!!! You see, in my head, I knew Him.....but under conviction, I went to an altar, and gave my heart to Him.....and He knows me.......for all eternity....He knows me! What a blessing!!!

"I know Him, yes I know Him....I met Him at the cross of Calvary. I know Him, yes I know Him...but best of He knows me!"

Friend, do you know Him today...........but most importantly....does He know you??? Search your heart today, do you know of a time that you asked Him to live there? If not, please let Him know you today. If you are saved, then let yourself go down memory lane, and remember the time that you let Him know you! What a wonderful Savior! I praise the day that I knelt down at the cross and made Him my personal Lord and Savior!!!

I'll Pick the Tractor Every Time!

"Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly (gentle and humble) in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Back in 2002, God granted my husband and I our life long prayer of our dream home. He gave us the opportunity to buy about 7 acres of land, in the perfect location! We had looked for so long. Before, if it was where we wanted the land, it was too expensive, but if we could afford it, then it was too far out from everything. God was working in my husband's career, before we even realized it, and it all was coming together! My husband quit his job, sold his part of the business, and began building our dream house...........now that was some faith! But, God holds it all in the palm of His hand! I began working more hours at the hospital to cover the bills, our other house sold, just in the knick of time, and then I received a phone call asking me to take on another job that I had been praying about for so long! Let me tell you, God was moving on the scene faster than our feeble minds could even comprehend!

My husband and father-in-law were building our house, by themselves. It was hard work, and right in the middle of a very hot summer!!!! I don't know how much you know about building a house, but it is very hard work.......and just being the two of them.......it was even harder! I stood amazed at all they were accomplishing!

One day, it was time to put up some support beams in the garage. These beams were very heavy. They didn't know how they were going to lift them. As they began to struggle, up the driveway comes an old tractor. Our neighbor, seeing their distress, quietly came on the scene with his tractor. He had fork lifts attached to the front, and he helped them lift the beams into place!

As progress kept moving, it came time to put in the flooring for the upstairs rooms. Well, like I said, it's just the two of them, and you can only imagine, how long and hard it was going to be for them to carry each piece of wood up those stairs. It would take forever!!! Then, as if the heavens opened up..........there was our neighbor at the front of the house, with that old tractor, lifting several pieces of wood up to the second floor window! All they had to do was pull the wood off of the tractor's fork lift from the window! They were finished with the floors in no time!!!

As they kept working on the house, that old tractor seem to show up, just in time and help out! We finally finished the house and moved in. We began the landscaping. We had 8 trees to be planted, not counting the shrubs. Whew! Talk about some elbow grease, but we were so excited to have our new place, we gladly took those shovels out and began to dig. But, somewhere in the distance........I heard a familiar sound...........why, that old tractor was making its way down our gravel drive once more..........and this time it was equipped with a very large post hole digger attachment on the back. In about two minutes, the hole was dug and the tree was neatly in place!

A little while later, it was time to start our garden! We love to plant a garden, and we were excited because this was going to be a garden twice the size we had at our old house! We have a small tiller, and it was going to be quite a chore to dig up all of that ground and get it ready to start planting! With excitement, however, my husband began the task at hand! Before, he could wipe the sweat off of his brow, you guessed it, there's that familiar old red tractor making its way to our backyard. This time with a tiller attached to the back, and in about thirty minutes our garden spot was unearthed, and ready to have something planted in it!

Over the years we certainly have learned to respect and love that old tractor! And now, before we start a task that is too hard for us, we KNOW that all we have to do, is go get that old red tractor, it will certainly get the job done!!! Whether, we are in trouble, or just need some help with a job, we can depend on that tractor! It has cut our hayfields to keep our cows fed, it continues to plow our gardens, it has pulled dead trees up in seconds, it has even pulled stuck four-wheelers out of the mud..........and recently it pulled a concreted basketball goal out of the ground as if it were nothing!

I have certainly learned to appreciate the sound of that tractor, and it's power! Isn't that just like God? We begin to do whatever it is we need to do........and He just steps in, just in time, and makes everything so much easier. Sometimes we pray for Him to come on the scene, and sometimes, He's there before we even know to pray! His yoke is easy, His burden is light! Why, oh, why do we work so hard at trying to 'dig' at our own problems, when He's there, sitting on the old tractor, ready to do it for us?

That old red tractor doesn't look like much. It's paint is faded, it has some rusty spots, it's battered and beaten, but it's always been faithful! Just when you think it can do no more, that tractor, will hit another gear, and you stand amazed! Sometimes we think God has to come in all shiny and new, all sparkling and clean! That's not always the case. Don't limit God, or put Him in a box. Just when you think it's impossible.............God will amaze you! And, He will use the most unusual, most simple tool to do it with.

How much easier life would be if we would always take His yoke, instead of trying to work it all out by ourselves! What takes us a lifetime, only takes Him seconds! Learn from me, when a problem arises, or when your task at hand just seems too much..............pick the tractor!!!!! Your life will be so much easier!!! As the old hymn says, "....come, my yoke is easy.......and.........my burden's light."

Deadwood Christians

Well, with spring come changes in the weather! We've seemed to have several storms this spring. Praise the Lord, we've not had any real damage, like some have had. We've had a few power outages with these storms. One storm caused a lot of damage, flooding, and our power was out for 5 hours. Well, that gives you a lot of time to think! And as I watched the storm out the window, I noticed the trees. For the most part as the winds blew harder and harder, the trees swayed and bent, but were okay. Some would nearly break in two, but they survived. After the storm was over the yards and roads were covered with broken dead tree limbs.

You know me and my spiritual eye..........I began to ponder on what I saw. You know, that's how it is spiritually, too. If you are not firmly grounded in Christ, if you are not rooted in His Word, if you are not alive in Him.........then, you better watch out when the winds begin to blow. The storm hits and all the deadwood starts falling out of the trees. They are dry, brittle, ugly tree limbs. Have you ever noticed a poor old dry, dead christian? There's not an ounce of joy in their soul, their all brittle, and dried up! The whole tree can be so full and green, but then you notice that dead limb sticking out like a sore thumb! Same way with a backslidden saint! They get critical and sour towards everyone and everything. Your church may be on fire for God, all full and green........but that backslidden christian will stick out like a sore thumb.

Oh, they may look like they belong. Those dead limbs, before the storm, even though they are noticeably different, they still seem to fit into the tree........and some are so well hidden that you don't even know they are there.........until the storm hits! The wind blows, the rains beat down.......and the first to go is any deadwood! The tree may take a beating, and in the worst, darkest part of the storm, it may even look as though it will break! But, let the storm subside, the tree may look wary for a while, but just hold on. Let the sun come back out, and warm the air, and that tree will perk right back up, and be more beautiful than before!

The church is the same way..........let a storm brew, and the first to go are those deadwood christians! The church may look battered at first, after the storm..........but when the 'S-O-N' begins to shine...........the church will look full and green.........more beautiful than before!

My point is this..........don't be a deadwood christian! It can happen to any of us! In fact, the devil works night and day trying to get you to quit, sit down, and dry up on God! There will be storms that come up all through our lives.............be ready for them. Stay alive, keep reading His word, praying daily.............when the storms start to blow, you may get tossed around, you may even bend to the point of breaking.............but the Son will shine, and you will be better than you were before the storm! When that critical spirit starts to creep in to your heart, when you've been too busy to read your Bible or pray, when jealousy raises its ugly head..........get those shears out and do some pruning!!! If not, you will soon spiritually die, and the first storm that comes, and you will be dry and brittle, and before you know it, you'll be lying on the ground, destroyed!

The Holy Spirit is to our soul like sap is to the tree..........it is our spiritual life's blood! Keep exercising your faith! You'll keep your peace and joy, and like those healthy limbs and leaves, you'll be healthy and green.........and ready for whatever storm that comes your way because the Spirit is living in you!

Jiminy Cricket Didn't Know a Christian's Heart!

Have you ever watched Pinocchio? I'm sure everyone has....several times. It is a cute movie, and has a good moral lesson. Remember Jiminy Cricket's song, "Give a Little Whistle"? 'When you get in trouble and you don't know right from wrong, give a little whistle! Give a little whistle! When you meet temptation and the urge is very strong Give a little whistle! Give a little whistle! Not just a little squeak, pucker up and blow and if your whistle's weak, yell, "Jiminy Cricket!" Right! Take the straight and narrow path and if you start to slide, Give a little whistle! Give a little whistle! And always let your conscience be your guide.'

There's nothing wrong with that song, it has good moral value. But we Christians have a far better song, don't we? Psalm 36 gives a view of the human heart. Verses 1-4 tell us how wicked the heart of man is. How man flatters himself in his own eyes, how his words are wickedness and deceit, and how he even lies in his bed and plans the evil he is to do the next day! The rest of the chapter describes our Lord, how merciful and what lovingkindness He bestowes on us. He protects us under the shadow of His wings! And yet the world still rejects Him!

Jeremiah 17:9 says," The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked (incurably sick); who can know it?" Matthew 15:19 says, "For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies" There is nothing good in the flesh, nothing at all. Because our heart is naturally wicked, then we must never let our conscience be our guide. We must always, let the Holy Spirit be our guide!

Jiminy could only sing about the 'carnal' side of life. It doesn't matter how 'good' we try to be, our heart is wicked. Yes we are to take the straight and narrow path, and we are guaranteed that we are going to slide...............but, as christians (Christ-like), as children of God........we've got something so much better to rely on than our conscience! Our conscience is still connected to our carnal heart, and it may lead us wrong. Christians have something Holy, pure........something incapable of sinning..............the Holy Spirit! Jesus will never lead us down the wrong path. He will never forsake us or leave us. We don't even have to whistle, He is always there!

I'm so thankful that I don't have to rely on anything in me to get me through the day. The Holy Spirit will guide my path...............I've just got to be sensitive to Him, and listen!!!

Salvation is like Alka Seltzer!

My husband's 'cure-all' drug is Alka Seltzer Cold Plus medicine. If he has the sniffles, or the flu, he needs his Alka Seltzer! I think it's the fizzy noise that makes him feel better! Bear with me for a minute, it may sound as though I am jumping around, but it will all come together, I promise! I have a coworker, whom I love dearly, but I also feel sad for her. She is a wonderful person, and loves the Lord with all of her heart. She just has one problem...............she believes that you can lose your salvation! What a horrible way to have to live!!! Everytime I see her, she asks me to pray for someone in her family who has done something wrong, and therefore is now going to Hell again. What a tormented way to believe!!!!

Okay, so here's how I tie those 2 stories together. One night while making my husband an Alka Seltzer, I watched those two disks dissolving into the water.........and it hit me...........salvation is like Alka Seltzer!!!!! Once Jesus Christ comes into your heart......He's there to stay!! When I put those 2 alka seltzer's into the water, they start to immediately dissolve. They change the water in that glass forever! You CANNOT pour the water out of the glass without the alka seltzer going with it. Neither can you pour the alka seltzer out of the glass without the water going with it! It becomes ONE thing! It can NO longer be just water, or just alka seltzer! Oh what a blessing!!! I got the 'holy' chill bumps right there in my little ole kitchen.....................and over alka seltzer nonetheless!!! What a blessed assurance to know that once saved.........ALWAYS saved. Jesus and I can never be separated! The moment I got saved, it changed me and I can never again be lost!! Hebrews chapter 6 is Biblical proof of our eternal salvation! Verses 4-6 say, "For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, and have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, if they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh (again), and put him to an open shame." You are always saved! You can backslide, but you are still saved. Jesus would have to die on the cross again, if you could be lost again!!!

I know this is nothing new to any of you. But it doesn't hurt to get reminded every now and then of what a wonderful Saviour you serve! I pray that one day my coworker will see that if God is great enough to save her...............then He's great enough to keep her!!! So, the next time you fix up a glass of Alka Seltzer for you or a loved one...............watch that 'fizzy' action, and praise God for your salvation, praise God that NO ONE or NOTHING can separate you from your Saviour!!! Boy, they didn't know what they were saying in the commercial was so true, when they sang, "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.....ohhh, what a relief it is!" It is true RELIEF to know you have ETERNAL salvation!!!!!